Fat experiences

Has anyone had a spouse discover your fetish, express disgust. Yet then end up gaining a lot of weight after your interest was revealed?

I find myself in a precarious spot. Though I remember countless feeder/feedee experiences as a teen, like many, I didn’t discover that this was officially “a thing” until much later in life – midway in my marriage. I kept it a secret until my wife stumbled upon content on my phone. Not surprising, my 105lb skinny wife was disgusted. Now in her mid-30’s, she has been skinny her entire life. The conversation essentially ended with her stating “Well I’m never going to be a fucking fat girl, OK! End of story.”

But the moment after she made that "fat girl" statement, it's been a weird, self-fulfilling prophecy. I do all of the cooking in our house and did 100% of the grocery shopping for 12 years. But once my wife took over making the kid’s lunches, she insisted that she wanted to do the shopping to select all of the kid’s items. I had no problem with that; but I was taken aback by how much food she came home with – literally over twice what I would buy. For the first time in our household, we now officially had a “junk food cabinet” which slowly turned into almost 2 full cabinets. The freezer now was chuck full of large bags of pizza rolls, jalapeño poppers, etc.

She insisted it was for the constantly hungry kids and sleepovers. In retrospect, I ironically now remember early on, my wife wanted me to do the shopping because she “always goes to the store hungry and overbuys”.

Her nightly pastime had always been laying around watching Netflix and drinking wine. But it was now Netflix, wine and endlessly snacking. And she became increasingly possessive over which foods were “her snacks” and which were for the kids lunches. And she would throw a mini-fit if the kids had eaten her particular food as it was sabotaging her critical “unplug time”. When I offered I would make a night-run to replace it, she would melt. And it was such a turn on. 3 years ago if I had offered to get her food at night she would say “why, you trying to get me fat like those girls on your phone!”.

A couple years of this and she developed a pretty nice overhanging pot belly. Christmas last year, her interest in craft beer helped pile on another good 30lbs and she was buying a lot of new clothes around that time and I don’t think really ever felt uncomfortable in her clothes. For the Holidays we took some family photos and to me, she looked like a different person. Looked, well, heavy.

My mother-in-law then innocently posted an unflattering family gathering photo to Facebook of my wife eating a piece of cake. Belly hanging out. She looked far larger in the photo than even in real life. This photo threw my wife into an existential crisis. Laying in bed staring at the photo “I’m getting fat, aren’t I? Look at my fucking face. I’m fucking fat.”

She plunged into fitness and dieting for a period to stop her weight gain. Lost a decent amount. She even ran a 5K….only to come to the conclusion that she can never give up the things she loves. And those things are going to make her gain weight. She seemed at a crossroads. She started eating again and the weight piled back on. When friends were over, she started to acknowledge her weight gain in conversation and joke about gaining more weight. Cracking open another 300cal beer she’d remark ”Adulting is going to make me so fat".

Even though she always knew I would appreciate her heavier, once she verbalized her weight gain, it seemed to give herself the peace, acceptance and license to really let herself go, to accept herself as loving food and not being a skinny person any more.

She gave away all of her skinny jeans from 3 years ago to a friend. Seems there's no turning back now in her mind. When we have sex she says she loves her bigger boobs and hips. The whole thing has been kind of a mind fuck for me because she’s still not into this fetish at all.

When we eat out I'll sometimes go into feeder mode and bring up getting a huge appetizer I know she likes. She'll squint her eyes, smirk and give me that look "I know what’s up” and say something like “sounds amazing, just don’t get all horny and freaky on me now”….per usual, I’ll take one bite and let her eat the whole thing to herself.

Most women naturally gain weight w/age due to unavoidable metabolism and hormonal panel changes. So I would imagine there are probably many folks that have been in my same position??

My ex gained a lot of weight, but she got mad at me when she saw it turned me on. So, perhaps it is not the weight gain, it's that she does not want you turned on by it.

The only reason she even cared about her weight was her perception in the workplace. That dynamic is a whole other chapter in this story. She works for a retail fashion company and therefore is surrounded by attractive, fashion forward, often fit women.

But..that company also happens to be Lane Bryant. So she spends all day staring at photography of bbw women and working on body positive marketing campaigns. This undoubtedly has had a radical transforming effect on her perception over the last few years.

She's started to follow certain bbw models and body positive channels on Instagram.

Recently I described a particular lady that's 250 lbs as overweight and my wife instantly responded "No, I don't think she's overweight".

Lane Bryant has seemed to change a lot over the past few years. They always had pictures of thin women in their stores, and said that fat women would not buy clothes modeled on fat women. I have noticed that they are using BBW pictures in the stores, and have more body positive slogans around.

What a wonderful story! You are a lucky fellow! And she is lucky to have you so appreciative of her gain!

So i made this profile. Minutes ago to read the fiction stories and this is the 2nd thing i read. It sounds like your living in one man.

I'm in a similar weird spot with that myself maybe someone can help. My wife comes from a very superficial family/circle of friends. Now I've never openly admitted (or had her find them on my phone) to her my 'fetish'/preferance but she has her suspicions, based on stalking my exes and the fact that when she always compares how attractive two females are, ill ussually pick the curvier one.

So she'll say things like " you just like fat girls" to which I'll ussually just deflect and say something like "i find all different types attractive". Which is true.

Anyway she has gained weight over the years and as we enter our 30's I see this getting harder for her to manage. Ironically her superficial family has a history of weight gain. Also she is one of those women who can't stand a hard work out. I mean she 'works out' but its like easy stuff that won't accomplish much. She'd much rather drink some 'magic' shake to reach her goal.

Anyway I'm reluctant because if i come out and just say "you're right I'm into fat chicks" she would (at best) be put off and at worst blame me for sabotaging her, which i haven't. I just don't stop her from sabotaging herself. Eitherway it would probably drive her hard in the other direction to her weight before i met her which i find unattractive (in pictures).

On the other hand if i let it go on the likely path, her self esteem and self image is so tied up in her weight and apoearance, I am concerned about her mental health, developing depression or something. I already see these changes sapping her enjoyment of life, she doesn't want to go out or take pictures and its a constant source of stress (which ironically contributes to weight gain).

Obviously I've got this 'itch' that needs scratching which is why i made this profile. I just want her happy...fat,sexy and happy, but happy. I'm not sure what i do but i unless her views and values do a 180 i didn't see how we both get what we want.

Help?

I see your predicament. It's all in the delivery....If you say little things to build her confidence as if she can feel secure no matter what with you....that may help a lot....but she is still at an impressionable age (just saying). Drop hints how Beautiful she is....eventually it will sink in....even if she is stubborn in that dept. I used to think what is so bad....my wife struggled to maintain her chubbier weight and had a husband that would love if she gained and even got Fat....and she loved eating....but couldn't just allow herself to let go....all the time.....but over the years things have changed.

My wife hung around some pretty high profile women and they were always concerned with how thin they were.....she was always the chunkiest for her height.....but also the hottest if you don't mind me saying. Point is ....it was more of a struggle for her back then where she wouldn't gain more than 5-10 extra Lbs. without really trying to take them back off. Time is an amazing thing and the maturity of life, kids & overall importance of such things. Also groups of friends change....my wife stopped hanging around them after kids were into sports and we were driving everywhere and met new groups of friends through these encounters ...obviously family doesn't ...but then again you said they are heavier now as well? My wife with age and maturity has seemed to accept extra weight and not want to deny herself good food, desert or wine for that matter and even if she wanted to put effort in to lose weight.....it would take a heck of a lot more effort than in the old days....which wasn't that easy back then. Also, I have seen several of her friends that I mentioned from way back then and even those thin women have now with age put on some weight and the ones that have not still have that woman of age paunch or little gut....which makes them look worse than if they fattened all over.

So....you have a tall & HEAVY (pun intended) task....but I say with time and soft compliments will get the job done eventually. Do you have kids yet? That is always a pretty good start for them accepting their fatter figure!

Yeah, I try to compliment her. She kind of falls back on the "you like fat gurlz" or if she is feeling confident she'll imply i like her better because she thinks she lost weight.

Im not really sure which way to go with it. Ive thus far been walking a line in between both.

I hear you! It’s been a roller coaster ride for me with my wife as well. Early on when I told her I wanted her to stop working out so much for us to spend more time together. She said she would gain weight if she did t workout 5 days a week. I told her I wouldn’t mind at all in fact I told her I thought she would look great with some extra weight. Ya I know not the perfect silver tongue...but I was young still. She eventually slowed her workouts and replace that time spending it with me and she would usually be snacking while we watched movies together etc. this became a pattern and she eventually was missing almost all her workouts shortly after....the weight started to pile on. I wa happy as can be....she seems a bit upset but continued to snack and eat all the time. It knowing if she was doing this for me or if it was a regular pattern with her if she had idle time ....she would just eat. I did pay way much attention to her growing figure and comment and say how beautiful she was looking and she would come back similar to your wife....she would say “so what are you saying I am looking really Fat now?” I would say “ no you look Beautiful”.....she would then say “you are strange....I can’t actually believe you like me Fat”.

So ....I get how your wife may be acting.....and it is challenging to deal with. But with the way she eats and does t work out really....she may continue to gain....either way so with your help and time maybe she will be able to start accepting it. Also, is this gain fairly new .....such as in the past year or so? If so.....she may be able to learn to cope better with it over time....because new decent size gains are shocking g and hard to deal with in front of friends, family or people you have not seen in a while. It can get better.....maybe in a few years you will see her much more accepting and have grown much fatter and finally she will appreciate a husband that loves her with all the weight she can’t lose anyway. At that point the scale will only keep rising.

My wife was exactly the same. The only thing she could attach to the idea of weight gain to was me, my fetish, the creepy "stuffer" images, etc. There was nothing positive about gaining weight, even with all of my compliments.

Her working at Lane Bryant was truly the game-changer as she was immersed in fat acceptance, started following a number of BBW models on Instagram. Her entire psyche was being influenced as she started to eat tastier/fattening foods and gain.

She now attaches gaining to living freely, comfort, being "who you are", going with the flow, "accepting the inevitable", bucking society. But SHE needed to make those connections - there's no way to simply manipulate that into being.

But her love for food has to grow to the point that there's something worth getting fat for.